A Talk in Haven
by bluehighlighter
Summary: A very, very random fic. Artemis has turned stupid because of some thing Foaly made...and Foaly took Artemis's IQ! Now you can see how an incredibly stupid fic can go droning abt a stupid Artemis...Chapter 4 (or2) UP! Originally Chpter 2, take a look!
1. Greetings

Okay, this is a very random and stupid fic where Artemis somehow ends up in Haven and chats with the fairies. Very weird. Quite stupid too. Oh yeah. Foaly sucks out half of Artemis intelligence too, so you can see how Artemis acts when his IQ is average... or below average! There's absolutely NO plot. This story might get some flames but, who cares!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything in this fic. Because there's not even a PLOT! But I put myself there, so... I own myself! Haha!

Kind of stupid. I did this to pass the time away... I'm having holidays at the moment and I'm BORED!!!

**A Talk in Haven**

**_Chapter One: Greetings_**

_We start with Artemis saying hi. By this time Foaly has sucked out part of his intelligence._

Artemis: Hi.

Holly: ((stares)) Hey! What are we doing here! What are YOU doing here, you stupid mud boy?

Artemis: Saying hi.

Holly: ((groans)) Artemis suddenly turned stupid. Hey, can't anyone speak up?

Trouble: Oh yes. Hi, Fowl.

Artemis: Hi.

Root: Short! Kelp! What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What's - WHAT??? FOWL IS HERE???

Holly: ((sarcastically and dramatically)) Oh yes... Fowl is back!!!

Artemis: Shut up, you pretty elf.

Holly: ((scowls)) I am NOT pretty, mud boy. Shut up and get yourself mind wiped.

Artemis: ((sarcastically)) Oh yeah, I'm going to fly into Foaly's mind-wiping equipment and blank out.

Holly: Yes! You finally got THAT right, Fowl. That's absolutely RIGHT.

Trouble: Has Artemis gone stupid or something?

Holly: DUH. Are you thick, Trouble?

Trouble: Why are you being so mean to me? ((Puppy eyes))

Holly: ((stares pointedly at Artemis)) Because the sight of that mud boy makes me want to puke.

Trouble: ((feeling happier)) Oh. Okay.

Root: Artemis? STUPID??

Artemis: Did you say I was stupid, Commander? For your information, I have the highest tested IQ in Europe you know...

Grub: Really?

Holly: Not really.

Artemis: Hey! Grub! You didn't say hi!

Holly: ((bends down towards Grub)) Told you he's stupid.

Root: FOALY!!! DID YOU USE YOUR NEW SUCKING OUT INTELLIGENCE THINGIE TO SUCK OUT ARTEMIS'S BRAIN POWER?

Foaly: ((pouts)) Well, only half of it!

Artemis: Hey, that weird half-man, half-pony thing looks prreeeeeettttttyyyyyy! Me wanna ride it!

Holly: Foaly... Artemis is going mad...

Foaly: ((ignores Holly)) And now, I, Foaly the super super intelligent centaur, have the power to rule over all of you because I'm SMART!

Artemis: Hey! You didn't say hi!

Holly: ((sigh)) Must everyone greet you, Fowl? You're extremely unpopular you know.

Foaly: And since I have the power to control everyone, I will be Commander in place of Julius!

Artemis: Okay! That sounds like fun...

Holly: Erm, no way.

Trouble: ((meanly)) Look Arty, you're stupid!

Artemis: ((innocently)) But – but listening to the pony is fun!

Foaly: I won't control you, Holly. Since you're my best pal.

Holly: Thank God.

Root: FOALY!!! GO BACK TO THE OPS BOOTH NOW BEFORE YOU FIND MY FOOT CONNECTING WITH YOUR BEHIND!

Foaly: ((stiffly)) Actually, I sucked out three quarters of Artemis's intelligence. So I'm probably the smartest person below Earth! And on Earth.

Holly: ((gasps)) So Fowl is stupid?

Artemis: That sounds fun. So Fowl is stupid. Wait! None of you said hi to me! As you know, this is the Greetings chapter!

Holly: I have no idea why we're in So I guess neutralgal, the creator of this incredibly lame and stupid fanfic, is going to force us to say hi.

Neutralgal: Aw, poor Artemis. But too bad! I made this story! So everyone say hi to stupid Artemis!

All except Artemis:((grudgingly)) Hi Artemis.

Artemis: Now, neutralgal, make me ride on the pony.

Foaly: Nooooooooo... I'm too intelligent to be ridden on!

Artemis: Come on, neutralgal! I wanna ride on the pretty pony!

Neutralgal: Okay, now I know it's bad to make Artemis stupid.

Holly: Obviously it is you stupid!

Grub: Hey, you haven't made me talk for a while. Why are you leaving me out?

Artemis: ((tries to pull Foaly's tail)) neutralgal! Lemme ride on the pony!

Neutralgal: Hey! I didn't make this happen! Foaly, you stupid centaur! How much of Artemis's intelligence did you suck out?

Foaly: ((guiltily)) erm, 3 quarters?

Neutralgal: But – but I wrote that you were supposed to suck out only half!

Foaly: ((cackles evilly)) Too bad! Now Fowl will be stupid – FOREVER!!!

Neutralgal: This is bad...

Root: You stupid Mud Maid, get to work!

Neutralgal: I'm going to end this chapter. Greetings to all of you, by the way. Good luck dealing with Artemis. You never know, I may help...

Everyone except Foaly and Artemis: PUT THIS BACK RIGHT, MUD GIRL!!! WE CAN'T HANDLE A STUPID ARTEMIS!!!

Artemis: Pony!

Foaly: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Neutralgal: See you in the next chapter! Goodbye!

That was incredibly stupid. But I've passed the time away! After you read, review! Haha... This is a very very random fic so you can't blame me! Click the Go button! Go, Go, Go!!!


	2. Fishie

Neutralgal's sister, reporting for duty. Forced to write this second chapter, I shall entertain you whilst you poke fun at my sister.

Neutralgal: I let my sister write the 2nd chapter; she was SOOOO eager... aren't you?

Okay, this is still neutralgal. I will take over my sister for the replying. Enjoy! (My sister's BAD at writing. I hope you'll notice the difference. Don't flame her! She's older than me by the way )

Back to my sister. She will be known as neutralgal's sister. Read ON!

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_Written by neutralgal's elder sister, NOT neutralgal:_

**_Chapter Two: Fishie_**

_Artemis is trying to convince "Pony" to let him be ridden. _

Foaly: Hahahaha! I will continue letting your rotting brain disintegrate! Then you will DIE and your foolish desire to **_ride_** me will disappear!

Neutralgal: ((screams and claws at her face)) NOOOO! Artemis cannot DIE! Otherwise this fic will be meaningless! Don't you understand???

Foaly: It doesn't matter! Nothing matters! Except my beautifully moisturized hooves and me! ((Clears throat, obviously embarrassed he mentioned that he almost mentioned his hoof cream)) So. Yes. I have erm. Forgotten! I have forgotten how to turn off my machine. Thus, it will continue sucking the Mud Boy's intelligence, and he will get stupider while I become a super-genius!

Artemis: Ponyyy!

Neutralgal: ((faints))

Holly: Foaly. Artemis's vileness is really getting to you.

Trouble: Yeah! You made Neutralgal faint!

Foaly: Who cares.

Artemis: PONY! ICE CREAM!

Holly: Erm...

Root: Hey, I want ice cream too!

Foaly: Shut up, Julius. The new commander (MEMEMEME) will NOT let you purchase such unnecessary objects. The money could be used for hoof cream.

Root: ((turns red))

Artemis: PONY! ICE CREAM! FISHIE! ((Eyes pop out at the prospect of eating all the aforementioned objects)) I wanna pony ride! MOMA! WHERE BE MY PONY RIDE!

_Holly's eyes fill with despair as she sees her friend, the centaur whom she considered her pal, sink to the lowly depths of Mud Man-ness. What was she to do? Without his intelligence, Artemis would surely die as he would soon forget how to breathe. And that would be murder! A LEP officer, when seeing someone in trouble, must never hesitate to help!_

Trouble: Heh. Who cares. Let him die. One less criminal for us to ki- er...I mean track down! What say we go eat some ice cream?

Root: Good idea! Not like this er, PONY needs our superb management skills. ((Sarcastic))

Foaly: ((not realizing Root was being sarcastic)) Why, thank you! ((surprised)) Would you like some money for ice cream?

Holly: What about your hoof cream?

Artemis: Ice cream?

Foaly: Oh! Yeah. NO MONEY FOR YOU! ((Stomps off in fake anger, while cursing himself silently for forgetting he was on an evil track))

Neutralgal: ((getting up from floor)) Wha- ((looks around and glimpses the group trooping out of the place)) HEY! Where do you think YOU'RE going? Foaly's about to kill Artemis!

Artemis: Ice cream?

Holly: I guess, let's give up. Artemis? Want a fish?

Artemis: FISHIE! ((Drools))

_Trouble, Root and Grub EXIT, proceeding to the ice cream stall._

Holly and Neutralgal: Hey! Come back! How 'bout us?

Holly: I want chocolate fudge!

Neutralgal: I want mint!

Artemis: FISHIE!

Foaly: Shut up. I have had enough of your nonsense. Guards, TAKE HIM AWAY.

_A fish plops out of the tank that suddenly appeared out of nowhere._

Artemis and Holly: FISHIE!

Fishie: ((gurgle)) I am ((splishh)) a fish. ((Splash)) Beware of my ((sploosh)) watery guts! ((splishh)) I have a ((splash)) spear and I'm not ((sploosh)) afraid to use it!

Holly: ((rolls eyes in disgust))

Artemis: FISHIE! I WANNA TOUCH FISHIE! ((Drools more, adding to the already flooded pool of saliva))

Foaly: Guard! Get him!

Holly and Neutralgal: Hey! Wait up! I want ice cream too! ((Both dash after the exiting group))

Fishie: And now it's just you and me... ((Grins evilly))

_And until the next chapter...

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_

Okay, this is where my elder sister stopped. Erm... I find that she has made quite a few mistakes. Let me list them down to embarrass her...

1) ERM... I do not faint when I hear Artemis is going to be killed... Crazy sister.

2) Foaly said who cares!!! Hey! Foaly! I'm the creator! Of course the others will care about me! My sister made me FAINT!!! AHH!!

3) Artemis is soooo stupid. Sorry, Arty, it wasn't me, it was my sister!

4) What is WRONG WITH THE TITLE!!!! FISHIE??????

5) I hate mint ice cream.

Okay, please rate my sister's writing from the range of 1 to 10 and mine also (Chapter 1). I do not doubt my sister's writing is better than mine... Hey! Give higher marks to me, I'm the original creator of this story you know!

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Okay, lovely replies to lovely reviewers ((review my sister's chapter! REVIEW!!!)):

blah: You wanna ride the pony? Hmmm... Become a fictional character and maybe then you can;) Thanks for reviewing!

trohS ylloH: Hmmm... Holly Short spelt backwards... I'll make Foaly eeeevvvviiilll (actually my sis), you'll see... Thanks for reviewing!

Niko Mew midorikawa: Yeeeha!! Ride Foaly and budge off, Artemis! Thanks for reviewing!

Hiei's pet monkey: I know it's weird. It's actually very stupid... Thanks for reviewing!

101: Interesting??? ((Eyes widen)) You must have been writing something wrongly. It's all the way booooooring!!! Thanks for reviewing!

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All credit goes to my sister. Thanks, sis! (my foot)

See you till next chapter! Go, click the Go button, Go!

P.S: Ooh... My sister certainly has a wide range of vocabulary...

A/N: If you want to be in this fic... please say so... anybody can be in this fic. Told you it's RANDOM!!! NO PLOT!!! Just keep in mind Artemis is stupid... lame story... Moohahahahahhahahaa....


	3. The Immortal

Yoohoo! Good news! You all get to be in the fic! I mean those who want to be in the fic! Replies to reviewers are down there!

**And big sorries to lianghwei, Raven and Januarye, suga CraZie and Lils Evans for forgetting to reply! Extra thanks to all of you for not flaming me since I forgot to reply and to those who still continued reviewing, THANKS SO MUCH!!!**

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_**Chapter 3:The Immortal (one lucky reviewer gets to be it! Sorry to others...)**_ We will continue from where we left off... 

A/N: Part of this will be by me; the other part will be by my sis. Enjoy!

Fishie: ((raises spear to pierce Artemis))

Artemis: Ooh milk bottle! ((Opens mouth wide)) Put it in! Put it in!

A group of fanfic writers rush in at the door. Trouble, Grub, Root, Foaly, neutralgal and Holly ENTER. 

Holly: ((addressing neutralgal who is licking a vanilla ice cream, NOT mint)) Hey, mud girl, who are they?

Foaly: ((rubs hands)) HAHAHAHAHAHA! It seems my evil minion, Fishie, is intimidated my Artemis! SO, my dear little totally dense boy, here's another of my guards!

Fishie: Erm... I'm not intimidated.

Foaly: Whatever! Shut up, and listen to The Great Foaly lest I execute you!

Fishie: Yes Sir! Aye aye captain! Fishie reporting for duty! ((Shudders at thought of head rolling on floor))

Foaly: ((snaps fingers professionally)) Guard! Come help Fishie!

_A bird plops out from the tank. And it's black, wet and... black._

Fishie: Oh hi! Did you read the latest edition of _Fishie Fashion_? I left it on the table; you can take it if you- Oh erm. Sorry Master. Raven and Januarye, my comrade in arms, where be thine spear?

Raven and Januarye: ((looks confused)) Huh? Why am I black? And wet? And BLACK???

_Everyone notices that one of the fanfic writers has disappeared, and starts picking up pots to see if she is under them._

Neutralgal: ((licks ice-cream))

Holly: ((scowls)) Is that all you can DO?

Neutralgal: ((ice-cream falls on the floor and she eats the cone)) Duh.

Foaly: You brainless half-wits! I- ((thinking of a reasonable excuse for the disappearance of Raven and Januarye)) killed her!

Everyone: ((gasps))

Foaly: ((grins))

Raven and Januarye: Hey! I'm not dead! That ugly horse turned me into a black, wet and black bird! AAAHHHH!!!

Trouble: That's good.

Holly: Shut up.

Artemis: Look! New people! My momas!!

Root: You wish. Those are just some more of those idiotic fan fiction writers who insert us into terribly annoying stories and make us look stupid.

Artemis: Huh?

_The fanfic writers pluck up their courage to speak._

Fanfic writers: Neutralgal invited us!

Neutralgal: ((licks hand))

Holly: neutralgal you idiotic brainless mud brat!!!

Neutralgal: Thank you.

Foaly: You're welcome. Now if you please, may I continue with my evil scheme?

Neutralgal: Yeah. Whatever. ((Licks hand again))

Fishie: So erm. Hello, my comrade. Doth thou have thine spear? If not, you may borrow mine.

Raven and Januarye: Erm. Okay... ((Grabs Fishie's spear))

Fishie: Listen as I instruct. Stick you spear up and mumble threateningly. Like this: ((and Fishie mumbles threateningly)) OOBA! GOOBA! UGH UGH UGH! ARH ARH ARH! DURRRHHH ((Fishie forgets himself and starts to drool))

Raven and Januarye: ((raises eyebrows)) erm... Foaly? I think your er, _minion_ is slightly mad.

Foaly: No! My minions are in tip-top condition, for I handpick them all from the asylum. Now, I shall-

_GONG! GONG! GONG! The sound of the Fairy Gongs resonate through the hall. GONG! GONG! GONG! _

Holly, Trouble, and Root: Hooray! We are saved! ((Jump up and down hugging each other))

((But Holly is reluctant to touch Root))

_Mist and fog swirls about in a dreamlike fashion and all the room's occupants are thrown into and induced sleep as an elegantly-dressed person descends from the hole in the roof ((pieces of concrete was still falling down)). And the fog clears._

_With a sweep of her delicate hand, she clears the mess in the room, and looks around expectantly. After a while, however, she realizes that her mist and fog had put everyone into a deep, dark sleep, and they were snoozing fitfully on the vanilla ice-cream covered floor for neutralgal had spilt much of her ice cream there. Root was floating in the tank, producing bubbles as he snored loudly, occasionally drinking in the poor unfortunate fish, and sucking in some purple-coloured, leathery-textured leaves._

_The Immortal had arrived._

Immortal: Ah! So it seems everyone is asleep! Now... _awaken!_

_Everyone wakes and jumps up, except Root, who lost his balance in the tank and starts sinking. Foaly and Fishie are still snoring peacefully._

Immortal: ((clears throat)) I have heard from _The Daily Immortal News_ that trouble is brewing on Earth. Is it not?

Trouble: Oh yes! ((Drops to knees and starts kowtowing)) Oh great one! To see such beauty- It's more than a LEP officer can dream of! And to hear such wisdom spouting from your rose-red lips! And to fall asleep; only to be magically awakened- it's a dream come true! Oh what name may we bestow upon your graceful self?

Immortal: You may call me suga CraZie, but it would be grander and more formal for you to call me "Immortal".

Trouble: Oh yes! Immortal! Suga CraZie! ((Kowtows))

Holly: ((rolls eyes)) So what are we to do now? Before they wake?

Immortal: ((knits brows)) There is much left to do before they wake, but little of it can be made known to lesser mortals such as yourselves. You just wouldn't understand my great words of wisdom. Therefore you shall just help me execute my plan, while I will be the mastermind. Okay?

Everyone else: Okay! ((Nods head vigorously))

Root: ((climbing out of tank, spitting out fish and leaves)) Well, naturally, commanders are assigned first. So what do I do?

Immortal: Uh, no. Ladies first. Gentlemen last. Especially commanders.

Root: NOOOOO!!!

Holly: ((rolls eyes)) Okay. So what do I do?

Immortal: Well... you can go and clean the toilets.

Holly: D'Arvit! ((Mutters and stomps off))

Psychogrl: Why are all of you ignoring me? I'm a girl too!

Immortal: Join Holly to clean the toilets.

Psychogrl: Oh D'Arvit! ((stomps off after Holly))

Lils Evans: I want an ice cream.

Immortal: Hmmm... I know! You can go and buy ice cream for Holly, Psychogrl and yourself!

Lils Evans: Money please! ((Spots Root's wallet stuffed full with money)) Cool... ((Grabs it and snatches out a ten dollar note)) Thanks! What did you say? I keep the change? Why, thank you! ((Runs off))

Foaly: ((wakes up and starts trying to detach the sucking intelligence machine thingie from his head)) too much IQ is being poured into my head!

Artemis: ME WANNA VACUUM CLEANER!!!

Neutralgal: Erm... Immortal?

Immortal: Hmm?

Neutralgal: Do I go clean the toilets too?

Immortal: No, of course not! You clean out Foaly's butt!

Neutralgal: WHAT!!!!

Foaly: Help – me!

Neutralgal: No way.

Blah: Do I clean the toilets?

Immortal: Err... no. In fact, you clean neutralgal's spilt ice cream!

Root: ((waves fist angrily at Immortal)) Like, why are the girls doing all the dirty work!

Blah: Because you would rather ride on Foaly's back. Oops, that's what I wanted to do!

Immortal: Well...

Foaly: ((farts by accident, blasting Root, Trouble and Artemis into the wall))

Neutralgal: Phew.

Artemis: STINKIE PONY!!!

Root: You got that right. Foaly, I'm going to slash your budget!

Trouble: Whoa, Foaly! You should join Mulch in a farting contest!

Blah: ((takes the chance and jumps onto Foaly's back)) Yeeha!!! I got onto Foaly, I got onto Foaly!

Foaly: ARGH!!! ((Farts continuously, each time blasting Artemis, Root and Trouble into walls))

Blah: ((tries to hold on to Foaly's hair, instead wrenches a wig off))

Foaly: AHH!!! MY wig! My wig!

_Holly, Psychogrl and Lils Evans rush in._

Holly: ((brandishing a scrub over her head)) What's going on! Ew, what's that smell?

Psychogrl: Yeah, that FOWL smell?

Lils Evans: ((throws an ice cream at the sucking intelligence thingie)) Foaly farted?

Trouble: ((saying this as he is smashed against the wall for the billionth time)) DUH!!!

Blah: Look at me! I'm riding on the pony!

Foaly: AAAHHH!!! ((Farts till Trouble soars straight through the walls))

Holly: ((swiftly takes out her Neutrino and blasts it at the sucking intelligence thing)) Did that work?

Foaly: ((moans)) NO!!!!

Blah: I know what to do! ((Simply wrenches the sucking intelligence thing from Foaly's head)) There!

Immortal: ((pouts)) I could have simply wished that! ((Remembers that she is an Immortal)) Oh yes. Congratulations, blah.

Foaly: Ow my head!

Root: Ow my nose!

Artemis: ((still is stupid and drools))

Immortal: Now, I shall clean up all this mess and debris. Would you like that, fairy friends and mere mortals?

Everyone: Yes, thank you, Immortal!!! ((Kowtows))

Foaly: ((massaging his bald head, not knowing blah was pinning a piece of paper on his tail, saying, "I have a big fat butt")) OWWW!!

Blah: ((jumps off quickly))

Immortal: And hereby I end this chapter...

Neutralgal: It's me who ends it!

Artemis: PONY BIG STINKY BUTT!!! HAHA!! HAHA!!

End of chapter.

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You certainly have to tell me if you want to stay on in this fic, all right? And I randomly chose someone to be the Immortal, okay? Congrats to suga CraZie, you are the lucky one! Here are the replies! Lils Evans: Thanks! You gave me higher marks! HAHA!!! And you're in this already...;) 

**_Psychogrl_**: Haha! Fishie was still sleeping! You're in here already! Thanks for reviewing!

**_Raven and Januarye_**: Thanks for reviewing, you're in!

**_Cyberspace_**: Haha, I don't mind. Thanks for reviewing anyway!

**_Blah_**: You've ridden the pony! Lucky you! Thanks for reviewing!

**_trohS-ylloH_**: Haha!!! Thanks for reviewing! I dunno whether Foaly is more evil... more like more stupid...

**_Hiei's pet monkey_**: Cut down on your sugar! And update your AF story please! Thanks for reviewing!

**_Cassy_**: Haha, of COURSE it's stupid. Thanks for reviewing two times in a row!

**_Queen of Fantasy_**: Unlikely. Artemis hasn't stopped breathing! !!! Thanks for reviewing!

**_Amy Shadows_**: Thanks! Please update your Fear Factor: LEP edition 2!!

**_Ryu-Gi_**: Aww... Artemis isn't here as much as he's supposed to be... Thanks for reviewing!

**_suga CraZie_**: Hey, lucky you! You're one of the main characters! Thanks for reviewing!

I need... hmmm... 35 reviews for the next chapter ((evil grin)) Fine, fine, 33... PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thanks!

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	4. chp 2 or 4: Intelligence back

Hey people! Erm… this was originally chapter 2, made by me, but my sister wrote chapter 2 instead… so here's something you can read to entertain yourself whilst I go sunbathe and sip lemonades.

This chapter is super short. Sorry about that… ((Grins weakly))

Oh yes. I've got loads of reviews! Thanks, people! ((huggles))

A/N: Sorry, people, had no time to add in the extra readers, so just read this chapter that was ORIGINALLY supposed to be chapter 2… hey give me feedback whether the Chapter 2 my sister wrote "Fishie" or this one was better, kay? I know you're thinking I'm real lazy, but that's not the reason, I've been super busy… so to entertain you I'll post this chapter… )

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Replies:

**_Neko Mew Midorikawa: _**OOPS! Sorry… until I have time I'll have the next chapter up and you'll be in it okay? Enjoy this one! Thanks for reviewing!

**_suga CraZie: _**Yup, you were the lucky, lucky, lucky one… Thanks for reviewing! You'll be in the real 4th chapter, really.

**_blah:_** ): Sorry, but I can't put you in here, I was like searching around in the computer, and then I came across it, and found it quite funny, even though quite short too, and I wanted to post it, but it's impossible to add any readers here… you've been a loyal reviewer of the fic! Thanks loads!

**_trohS-ylloH: _**YIKESS! This chapter is certainly NOT satisfactory… no reader's in it… sigh! Sorry… well, we'll see the next chapter… sorry a lot… thanks for reviewing anyway!

**_Raven Januarye Key Kaedae: _**Hey! Well… sorry… I can't leave you in here… it's like a really short notice chapter, and it's supposed to be chapter 2, so watch out for the 5th chapter okay? That'll be the real 4th chapter… Um. Oops. Okay. Sorry about that. Thanks for reviewing!

**_wildo: _**Yah! It's supposed to be random! WOOHOO! Thanks!

**_crazed-gal: _**Hey Rei En! Sorry… but yeah… erm… I can't put you in, this is chapter 2, originally… so read it okay…?

**_Hiei's Pet monkey: _**HAHA! Sugar… hmm… well this was originally the 2nd chapter… thanks for reviewing!

**_don'taskmewhy0991: _**Hey! You changed your name! Nice name… Thanks anyway for reviewing! Sorry, this probably won't satisfy you, I just pulled this out from nowhere… sorry!

**_Iluvetoread: _**CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 33rd reviewer! Sorry, I had no time to update then. I am super busy after all… please read, and I hope you won't be too disappointed…

**_Psychogrl: _**SORRY! This isn't actually a next one; this is just to entertain you while I study like really hard… thanks for reviewing anyway! I'll keep in mind you're to be in the next chapter!

**_Jaye Black: _**Hey thanks for reviewing three times in a row! YAY! I got higher than my sister! Oh yeah, uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh… Lils Evans is one of your best pals? Cool… BIG PROBLEM, this isn't exactly the next chapter, but I AM random… ((Evil grin)) thank you!

**_Kaibygirl: _**Hey everyone who requests will be in the fic! But unfortunately this isn't exactly the next chapter, but you'll be in the next one! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you'll continue doing so…

**_Atled Willy: _**Yup, sheer randomness is FUN… whoopee! Well I'm twelve ((GASP as the careless author reveals her secret identity)) this year and yah… so… thanks! I don't like mint ice cream… haha…

**_foaly4eva: _**You'll be in the next chapter. Pinky promise. Well, thanks for reviewing!

**_Fishie: _**Well, wait till next chapter. All of those who requested WILL be in the next chapter. This is for entertainment, see! I mean this chapter, yeah. Thanks for reviewing!

Wow. 16 reviewers. And Jaye Black reviewed thrice, so 18 reviews… wow. Sorry, this chapter is NOT satisfactory, but bear with it, please, I spent like so long typing all the replies… please review? And read!

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**(Originally chp2) Chapter 4: _Intelligence back… and gone again._**

_Continued from the previous chapter… _

Foaly: FOWL! AAAHHHH! MY TAIL! YOU PULLED ONE OF THE HAIRS OFF!

Holly: Excellent! But it isn't like you are deprived of hairs. You should look in the mirror.

Foaly: ((scowls)) But, all centaurs are hairy!

Artemis: Pony! Eek! Pony is sooooooo hairy!

Root: For once, Artemis said something right.

Trouble: Hey! Look! Foaly dropped his stupid sucking out intelligence thing! Let's return Artemis's intelligence!

Holly: No! No! Artemis can be under MY control when he's soooo stupid.

Foaly: NOOOOOO! ARTEMIS, YOU IDIOT, GET OFF MY TAIL NOW!

Artemis: Pony! WEE!

Holly: Hey! Look! Artemis wants you to wee!

Foaly: I'm not a genius for nothing.

Grub: And I'm not called Grub for nothing.

Trouble: And who wants to know the origin of Grub's name!

((Everybody glares at Trouble and points meaningfully at Artemis))

((Trouble snatches the sucker thingie and quickly squashes it against Foaly's head. Foaly screams like a girl while intelligence is sucked out and brought back to Artemis's brain))

_Artemis's intelligence has returned…_

Artemis: Why am I holding Foaly's tail and standing in this undignified manner?

Holly: ((shrugs)) How would I know? I'm just an innocent little elf.

Trouble: Yeah, and you called Holly pretty.

Artemis: WHAT? I DID? ((Though very 'undignified', he runs to the toilet and vomiting noises can be heard. Then, he runs back, looking MUCH better))

Foaly: Ow… You sucked out all my intelligence! And one of my tail hairs.

Everybody: SO WHAT? IT ISN'T LIKE YOU'RE BALD OR ANYTHING!

Artemis: What's that strange machine over there? ((Picks up))…

Foaly: Uh oh…

Artemis: ((icily)) Foaly? Have. You. Been. Sucking. My. Intelligence. Into. Your. Brain? ((Glares until Foaly cowers under Artemis's gaze))

Foaly: No!

Holly: Yes!

Root: Shut up!

Holly: Don't listen to him, Artemis! He's lying!

Neutralgal: Ooh, look, you characters have a problem here, right? And I, the creator of this incredibly stupid story, will watch and talk as well.

Holly: You got that right.

Artemis: So THAT'S the creator of this incredibly pathetic and lame fanfic. Did YOU make me act like a stupid toddler?

Neutralgal: Well, of course I did! You wanted to ride on Foaly. And unluckily I did not grant your wish.

Trouble: This fic is like, so bad. Can you just release us back to Eoin Colfer?

Neutralgal: ((rolls eyes)) Like, no way.

Foaly: You made me lose one of my precious tail hairs! And my extra intelligence!

Neutralgal: Well, it was ME who let you have Artemis's intelligence in the first place. I'm just being obliging. And I don't know why.

Artemis: May I be excused for interrupting? You used the word obliging wrongly. You should phrase it such that-

Neutralgal: Shut up, Artemis. We don't need to listen to your lectures.

Artemis: ((indignantly)) But, I was just being helpful!

Foaly: So much for gratitude.

Holly: So… neutralgal, could you give Artemis's intelligence back to Foaly?

Artemis: Holly! What do you mean, back?

Holly: ((wide-eyed)) I can't believe a genius like you can't figure out what I'm saying!

Artemis: Well, it's not BACK, you know. Originally it was my intelligence.

Foaly: I want Artemis's intelligence! ((Attaches sucker thing to Artemis's head, other end to his own head and sucks Artemis's intelligence into his brain))

_So now Artemis is back to stupid. Got it, readers?_

Foaly: ((inches away from Artemis, who is drooling, and I don't know why)) don't let him get near me. Don't let him get near me. Don't let him get near me…

Holly: Come on, little Arty, crawl to that hairy pony!

Artemis: Pretty pony! Me wanna ride!

Neutralgal: Oh no…

Trouble: Oh yes!

Holly: May I inquire why you are always so pleased when Artemis becomes stupid?

Trouble: You are too!

Neutralgal: Oh no, oh no…

Root: YOU STUPID MUD MAID! CHANGE THE PLOT!

Neutralgal: Unfortunately, BEETRoot, there is no plot.

Root: ((turns beetroot in colour)) What did you just call me, mud girl?

Neutralgal: ((innocently)) Erm, nothing. Just called you a kind of vegetable.

Holly: Wait! Commander, don't explode! I mean, don't explode YET! I mean – oh forget it! Hey, neutralgal, why don't you just make Artemis ride on Foaly?

Neutralgal: Intelligence back… and gone again.

Holly: Tsk tsk tsk…

* * *

A/N: Yah. Laugh. That's all. Whoopee. Please review; just drop a line, please? Thanks! And I won't be updating for quite long, so you'd better be grateful ((squints at everyone))… haha! Review! (Foaly jumps into the spotlight) And… I don't like flames. You flame me, I flame you back. Toodles. I've gotta go to my manicure ((cough cough)) and fix that stupid machine- oh never mind.

That totally sounded like Foaly. Well. It WAS Foaly. Foaly, get lost, you stupid centaur!


End file.
